Amy Yeung
Program Coordinator of the Mental Health and Pastoral Care Institute
On the day my calendar needed to be flipped into December, I helped my parents set up the Christmas tree. This is a tradition my brothers and I used to beg our parents to let us do in November, but we always had to wait until December. But it’s a tradition I, nor my brothers, have done with our parents for over a decade. As we each moved out and around the globe and country, the empty nesters were left to set up the tree on their own. But not this year.
It felt only right to put on one of mum’s favourite Christmas albums, ‘Home for Christmas’ by Amy Grant. It’s nostalgic and the title rings true as I’m finally home for Christmas after several years away! But there was a strange dissonance as Amy sang out, ‘It’s the happiest season of all… It’s the most wonderful time of the year’ because as that lyric rang out, I was thinking it may be my last Christmas with my mother due to her declining health.
I can’t help but think that for many of us, the proclamations of ‘most wonderful’, ‘happiest’, and ‘peace, hope, and joy’ don’t match up with how we’re feeling this year. Perhaps it’s your first, or second, or tenth Christmas after a loved one has passed. It may be another Christmas with relatives asking when you’ll get married or have a kid—painful reminders of your unfulfilled desires. Maybe family conflict feels insurmountable, so you’ll celebrate separately, or you’ll still be together, but it won’t be easy. Or you’ve recently moved, and your community is painfully elsewhere. There are also the weighty expectations to prepare a feast, give and receive generous gifts, have a ton of fun, and look good while doing it! And you simply can’t afford the Instagram-worthy Christmas or don’t have the energy for it after the year or month or week you’ve just had.
So, to quote another Christmas song, what ‘tidings of comfort and joy’ does this season offer? If we truly believe that Jesus is who he says he is, then we hold onto verses like,
How do we experience this comfort? It starts with being present. Being present, or being in the moment, is a proven way to relax our bodies. It involves noticing and appreciating the things around us and tuning into spiritual realities.
This year I have been reading a collection of Henri J. M. Nouwen’s writings for my daily meditations. Nouwen was a Catholic priest, professor, psychologist and writer. Later in life, he lived and worked in a L’Arche community, which is characterised by mutual friendships between people with and without an intellectual disability. A central theme in Nouwen’s life was rejecting a worldly identity and claiming our place as God’s beloved. To do this, he prioritised daily time with God. He writes,
‘God is a God of the present. God is always in the moment, be that moment hard or easy, joyful or painful... God is not someone who was or will be, but the One who is, and who is for me in the present moment. That’s why Jesus came to wipe away the burden of the past and the worries of the future. He wants us to discover God right where we are, here and now.’¹
This season we don’t have to pretend we’re happy or that things are easy. You are God’s beloved child and Jesus came that we would share both our joy and sorrows with Him. So, how can we be more present to the One who is with us, here and now? You may have your own spiritual practices that help you pray, but below you will find a small collection of ideas you may like to try. We hope they help you find moments in this busy season to be present to Immanuel, God with us.
Merry Christmas from all of us at the Mental Health and Pastoral Care Institute.
Spiritual Practices For Being Present
- Lectio 365 prayer app: guides you through a short time of pause and prayer.
- Find three and a half minutes to listen to ‘Centering Prayer’ from Sanctuary Songs by The Porter’s Gate. Focus on the lyrics and take some deep breaths.
- Read or listen to this beautiful prayer, A Liturgy for Embracing Both Joy & Sorrow from Douglas McKelvey’s Every Moment Holy.
- Call a friend and let them know how you’re feeling and ask them to pray for you.
- Take a moment to think about people you know who might find this season hard. Reach out to them and see how they’re doing.
- At the end of each day, write down three things you’re grateful for and take a moment to thank God for them.
- Spend a few minutes tuning into your senses. Notice:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- and 1 thing to taste. Thank God for our senses and ask that He would help you to taste and see that the Lord is good (Ps 34:8).
- Recite scripture as you take some deep breaths. For example,
- Inhale and pray: I trust in you Lord
- Exhale and pray: with all my heart. (Prov. 3:5)
- Inhale and pray: I cast all my anxiety on you
- Exhale and pray: for you care about me. (1 Peter 5:7)
- Inhale and pray: The God of peace
- Exhale and pray: is with me. (Philippians 4:9)
References
- Henri J. M. Nouwen, You Are The Beloved: Daily Meditations For Spiritual Living (Convergent Books, 2017), 369.
