7 ways to champion girls in your youth ministry

I am a twenty-six year old woman and I am a youth leader. I absolutely love partnering with young people and being used by the Holy Spirit to bring teenagers to know the deep love of Jesus. I love doing life alongside them and being there for them in the messiness of working out what it looks like to be a disciple of Jesus. I am often encouraged by their faith, their boldness in inviting their friends to youth group, and their thoughtfulness when grappling with really complicated topics that impact them or their peers. The insights that they offer in discussion groups are thought provoking and I find myself being challenged and changed by them for the better. One thing I am noticing however, is a lack of girls in youth groups. 

When I joined the youth team at church in 2024, I mentioned it to my colleague. She has a teenage daughter and the first thing she said was, ‘My daughter will not go to youth group. She hates it.’ That night, I went to this youth group for the first time. The opening activity was a rowdy game of dodgeball. Of the seven girls that came that night, two of them played, two of them stood on the sidelines, and three of them (Year 6 girls) had a genuine look of fear in their eyes as they beheld Year 10 and 11 boys letting out guttural screams and pelting balls across the room.

Then we went into the session, and a (lovely) young guy on the youth team got up to give the message. He opened using cricket illustrations. Something about the team needing to be on the same page so that they could get more wickets, something about Scott Boland, and then a short exegetical talk (which I am sure was great, but to be honest, I can only really remember the cricket illustrations). 

I’m by no means saying that girls don’t like rowdy ball games or cricket—my bestie gal, Sarah, is the biggest fan of a test match I’ve ever met! But I think you understand the point I’m trying to make. There were some girls there (myself included) who felt like youth that night wasn’t really ‘for’ them.  

Now, I want to say that I have served in youth ministry at two Anglican churches, and the men leading those ministries have been beautiful, humble, and servant-hearted (shout out Tobias and Luke, love you guys). I want to mention this to emphasise that this isn’t a critique of the character of youth ministers. I am hoping that this will be a helpful way to spark ideas, highlight a blindspot, or draw attention to patterns that may previously have gone unnoticed. From what I’ve observed, lots of churches have male youth ministers, many in the ordination pipeline, hoping to lead adult congregations one day. On top of this, men naturally notice and champion other men in their churches to become youth group leaders. This can lead to  the whole youth group experience becoming oriented to the things males typically enjoy and the girls are left on the sidelines.

We also need to consider why young adult women aren’t leading at youth group. I’ve noticed that I’m often the oldest female youth leader who isn’t on the church staff team. Youth ministry can be less accessible to women who are a little older because of full-time work or children, which means girls are often lacking the nurture and role modelling these women can provide. And it’s not just teen girls who miss out on female role models. Our young men also benefit from their leadership.

My observations track with the results of the National Church Life (NLC) Survey of Gen Z (18 to 27 year olds). The survey revealed that “Gen Z males are more likely than females to have adopted a Christian identity. [Gen Z males] are also more positive about the role of Christian religion in society,” and “some 56% of Gen Z females never attend religious worship services.”¹ This is the first time the NLC survey has seen this gender difference. Historically women have been more likely to adopt a Christian identity, be positive about the role of Christianity in society, and attend church.

We need to see young women in youth groups—both attending and leading. The gospel is for them and they are facing significant challenges that Jesus can speak to. We need to see women leading in youth ministry, to walk alongside these teenage girls, and to notice and champion future female leaders. It’s imperative. 

7 ways to champion girls in your youth group

If you’re a male youth minister reading this (hi!), I have a few suggestions for what you can do to help:

  1. Pray! Pray! Pray! Pray for the teenage girls in your congregation. Pray for the transformation of your youth ministry. Pray for them to come to know Jesus deeply and fully. Pray for the raising up of female leaders.
     
  2. Be curious. Like a non-judgmental, friendly scientist. Ask yourself and have conversations with women about, Why might girls not be attending youth as regularly as the guys are? Why are there no female leaders older than 21? I would love Mel to be leading youth group; I wonder what barriers are preventing her? 

  3. Get a female 2IC (second in charge). It can be a game changer. I took on this role for a year. It was a wonderful leadership opportunity for me and a real help to the youth minister—.not because I was doing all his work for him but because he had someone to bounce ideas off, get another perspective from, and point out things he’d missed. 

  4. Balance things out. If every week, as the teenagers are arriving, the boys jump into a game of soccer and the girls just stand around awkwardly, maybe provide some alternative options for arrival time. A couple of bean bags, a card game, and some music in the background go a long way. If last week’s big game was rowdy and involved a lot of throwing things at one another and screaming, maybe next week you could do a less chaotic game. Take a look at this awesome resource from Youthworks ‘Youth Games with Purpose’ by Leah Dyason. 

  5. Listen and reflect. Think about ways that the structure of your youth ministry might inhibit leadership roles for older women. I don’t want to list here all of the possible barriers—that is a whole other article. Instead, I’d recommend talking to the women in your church who you think would make good youth leaders (or “houseparents”) and starting an ongoing conversation about potential barriers. If you don’t know any women in your church well enough to have that conversation, your first step is to amend that. 

  6. Notice if there’s no men in the kitchen. It sounds so cliché but it happens often. I’ve noticed this silent pattern that takes place after youth group. The women go and start cleaning up after dinner/supper and the guys keep playing with the teens, chat with each other, or with the parents. It’s often not until someone kindly, but assertively, says, ‘Hey, I’ve noticed there’s not often dudes in the kitchen helping clean up,’ that this pattern starts to shift. 

  7. Prioritise employing a woman on your leadership team. If you’re a senior minister or on a church hiring team, you have the power to create opportunities for women to be seen, heard, and actively involved in church life. It will send the message to teenage girls that they belong and have a role to play in the church today.

If you would like to consider more practical ways to support young women, check out our three part series, ’10 Ways To Support Young Women’: 

  1. Part One
  2. Part Two
  3. Part Three (coming soon!)

 

You may also like to download our free resources, ‘Young Women & Mental Health Fact Sheet’ and ‘Words to Pray for Young Women and Mental Health’. Both are available here.

References

  1. National Church Life Survey (NCLS). “More Gen Z Men Find Meaning in Christianity.” NCLS Research, February 2024. https://www.ncls.org.au/articles/more-gen-z-men-find-meaning-in-christianity/.




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