Summer holidays—a mix of not knowing what day it is, loosening your routine, resting from the usual pressures, and reconnecting with loved ones. But as we return to work, small groups start up, rosters get sent out, schools begin again, and run clubs reconvene, holidays can feel like a distant memory as our attention gets snapped up by full and busy lives. These good things can make it challenging for anyone to stay connected in marriage which is why we’re offering a little help. Join us for our Spotlight webinar—Marriage: Staying Connected When life is Full. You can join live (in-person or online) or you can watch later. And in the meantime, discover your next read from these recommended books by our amazing team at ADM.
Keller gets to the heart of what marriage is—a covenant. The book is deeply rooted in theology which also makes it incredibly practical and relatable. Keller isn’t trying to instruct on what a marriage should look like but what it should mean. His gentle approach, storytelling brilliance, wit, and intellect make this book well worth the space on your shelf. My husband and I use an excerpt every time we do marriage-prep.
– Erin Elton, Mary Andrews College Resource Development Manager
As a Mary Andrews College lecturer and mental health professional, I appreciate the combination of psychological research and theology in this book. It’s a practical exploration of not just how to stay married, but how to have a healthy marriage. It’s for anyone that wants to glorify God through building a deeply satisfying, safe, and passionate relationship in which both you and your partner thrive.
– Amy Yeung, Mental Health Institute Programs Coordinator
Women and men who have grown up in churches or youth groups with varying degrees of influence of “purity culture” have likely absorbed some damaging attitudes that will have an impact upon their sexual relationship and therefore their marriage as a whole. Gregoire draws our attention to some of those damaging attitudes, what lies beneath them, and alerts us to how they may play out in our marriage relationships.
– Emma Argall, ADM Community Engagement and Events Manager
If you’re looking for a book that speaks honestly about marriage in today’s world, I recommend Christopher Ash’s work. He starts with God’s grace for our pain and failure and then unfolds a beautiful vision of sex and marriage as a life of serving one another. It’s thoughtful, practical, and deeply rooted in Scripture—perfect for anyone wanting hope and clarity in a confusing culture. I also recommend his more expansive theological reflection in which he challenges the modern idolisation of sex, showing that the primary purpose of marriage is serving God together — Marriage: Sex in the Service of God
– Liz Mansour, ADM Chief of Staff
In the MHI’s marriage course, we recommend this book as a key resource for understanding the relational dynamics of marriages. Johnson is a marital therapist and draws upon her work and research to show that the key to strengthening marriages is to get the attachment bond between a couple working well. That’s when couples thrive—when they feel safe and emotionally connected with one another.
– Keith and Sarah Condie, ADM’s Mental Health Institute Co-Directors
Applying the scientific principle to marriage, Gottman and Silver observed thousands of couples in ordinary, daily interactions and noticed distinct patterns that marked healthy relationships from unhealthy ones. From this, he distilled behaviours and attitudes that couples can become aware of and work on to improve respect, affection, deep knowledge of one another’s lives, communication and, ultimately, love.
– Emma Argall, ADM Community Engagement and Events Manager
The Plausibility Problem isn’t mainly about marriage, but it does a great job tackling how the church has misunderstood sexuality and relationships. Shaw offers a clear, grace-filled vision that challenges common assumptions. Want to dig deeper?
Pair it with Dani Treweek’s ‘Single Ever After‘—a brilliant reminder to keep marriage in its right theological place. Both books help us avoid treating human marriage as ultimate, while still celebrating its goodness and pointing us to the ultimate marriage of Christ and the Church.
– Becki Philip, Mary Andrews College Dean of Education
This is a fun tool that enables couples to have a conversation about all your family’s responsibilities, and decide what you and your spouse each want to take on as your household work moving forward. Seeing all the cards laid out really makes a visual impact. Working through them all can help to move you from a spirit of resentment – “I do more than you” – to a spirit of collaboration, shared responsibility and ownership.
– Bonnie Rozorio, ADM Communications Manager
How do you usually respond to someone who is wrestling with spiritual concerns? We’re likely to listen, pray, offer care, counsel, and comfort from God’s word. But (very) occasionally, this is entirely the wrong approach. That’s because the need for ongoing reassurance may indicate an underlying mental health condition known as scrupulosity – a sub-type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
“I don’t know how to relate. What will I say? I don’t understand them!” Have you thought this about a different generation? This article from Amy Yeung suggests a framework that could help us care well, no matter what generation someone is from.
Pastoral care takes place in many different contexts and capacities. You might offer care to those in your family, your friendship network and your church community. A toolbox of resources can equip you in these various contexts and roles.
Caring is not so much about fixing a need or solving a problem – it’s about showing up and being there as a willing servant of Christ. It lets another know they are seen and valued.
